When You Don't Want Sex: What Your Resistance is Trying to Tell You
- junamustad
- Jun 2
- 1 min read
Most women are never told how normal this is. You want to want sex or intimacy with your partner, but then your partner reaches for you, and something in you closes instead.
That pulling-away has a name. It's resistance, and it isn't the problem. It's a part of you guarding something. Sometimes what it's guarding is old, something the body remembers before the mind catches up. Sometimes it's hormonal. Sometimes it's a conversation between you and your partner that hasn't happened yet. Sometimes it's the surfacing of deep trauma.
Often you won't know right away. And you don't have to know to begin.
Here's what I keep seeing. The harder you push past your resistance, the louder it gets. We're taught to override it, to perform our way through, to stuff it down and wait for it to pass. It doesn't pass. It grows.
So in this video, I show you the other way. You turn toward it. You name it out loud with your partner. You learn to catch it the moment it comes, slow everything down, and ask what it wants you to know. Sometimes your partner is the one who notices first, and meets it without making you wrong for it.
If you've felt that pull-away and wondered what's broken in you: nothing is broken in you.
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