Article published in PopExpert.com
Have you ever had the sense that you or your partner are not fully, 100% committed to your relationship? Many of us do at some point in time. Do you ever justify it by casually asserting that since you’re mostly committed, that works, right?
As our mentor, Gay Hendricks once told us, “there is no such thing as a 99% commitment.”
Over the last several months, I had been feeling that my partner Justin was not fully 100% committed to our relationship. I would override my intuitions by telling myself, “you’re just terrified. This is the first man you have ever fully chosen to be with and it feels very vulnerable.” I had to force myself to stop making up stories that he wasn’t fully in. There was an element of feeling like I was just entertaining this possibility simply to validate my fears and close my heart off once again just to feel safe again. One thing I know about myself is that I tend to not fully know how to differentiate between intuition and the ever-convincing “horror stories” we always hear.
One single event changed this feeling for me last week. Justin left me a voice message that instantly made my body and heart relax. I could tell by the tone in his voice that something had shifted for him and for the first time in months, I could feel he was truly committed to our relationship.
So what really changed?
We’ve had some major issues come up over the last few months. My own personal control issues around the house, a waning sexual desire for each other, and natural fears surrounding the idea of getting married. After facing these issues head on with each other, we both began to take positive action. Our consistent action steps have led to unlocking amazing clarity and love within our relationship. It’s simple, yet so profound how simply uniting around your mutual commitment will allow you to push through any obstacle in life and love.
Both Justin and I are learning that 100% commitment is not a one time deal. It’s very real every day. We don’t just stand on the altar, proclaim our commitment, and then dust our hands off like the job’s finished.
At some point, something trying will likely come up and one of us may fall out of the 100% commitment zone, which is natural. What’s essential, is that we are aware of when our commitment is wavering and simply be transparent with each other, so that we can proactively work together and re-establish the connection. Be open to facing the underlying issues, no matter how deep. Take thought out steps to come back to your foundation of commitment. Then watch the magic happen.
Do you have any relationships that could use a commitment check in?
~ Juna Mustad